Penn State Adopts Mormonism

PENN STATE ADOPTS MORMONISM

Due to the untiring efforts of two missionaries from Arizona, Elder Sandberg and Elder Welker, who didn't know that Pennsylvania was predominately Catholic, mass baptisms were held in the Penn State University Stadium. "We thought that was what we came here for." Elder Sandberg from Gilbert, Arizona explained to school authorities last night, "There wasn't much else we could do," the school president announced, "These missionaries were just too powerful; the student just welcomed these missionaries with open arms (which is forbidden in Mormon Doctrine) and the people just fell in love with them," he said.

In just two months, Elder Sandberg and Elder Welker baptized over 20,000 Penn State Students and Faculty. The Stadium was the only facility large enough to hold the baptismal candidates and their families for the service. The Stadium is shown, above, with all the participants dressed in white, either being baptized or performing baptisms. All local stores were totally depleted of white clothing, which the Mormons use for their baptismal services.

"Nothing like this has ever happened to us," the mayor of State College explained to the news media. With 92.3 percent of all student baptized, the missionaries were planning to visit Ohio State University's campus next.